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Attn: I looking for a worthy scholarly prospectus out of this tentative premise but first to help…

Attn: I looking for a worthy scholarly prospectus out of this tentative premise but first to help me revise this premise based on the feed back from my instructor, as attached I am very open to any changes to the tentative premise that can in turn develop a concrete worthy, practical research topic of study in this area thanks.
Requirements Go Here:
Revised Dissertation Premise
Now that you have received feedback on your initial submission of your Dissertation Premise from your Instructor, it is time to refine your document to ensure it clearly communicates a general sense of the direction of your research. To complete this Assignment, ensure you have addressed and incorporated any feedback from your Instructor on your initial Dissertation Premise.
The Assignment (1–2 pages):
• Incorporate any Instructor feedback you have received and, following the guidance found in the Dissertation Premise document, create a revised version of your Premise.
Hello, student. Here are some tips for your premise: Could you have refined the first paragraph rather than use previously written works? Is what you propose a study that will gain approval by the IRB? I suggest that you consult early with your chair and the IRB to discuss feasibility. Avoid anthropomorphism (giving human traits to inanimate objects)…the research cannot do anything, only you as the researcher can. See previous feedback and review APA for correct citation (i.e., italics for journal names, statement case of titles, etc.) Per the rubric: 44 content, 8 writing
Readings
• Creswell, J. W. (2009). Research design: Qualitative, quantitative, and mixed methodsapproaches (Laureate Education, custom ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
o Chapter 3, “The Use of Theory” (pp. 51–76)
• Walden University. (n.d.-i). Office of Student Research Administration: Ph.D. Dissertation Program. Retrieved December 18, 2014, from http://academicguides.waldenu.edu/researchcenter/osra/phd
Note: At this website, locate and review the Dissertation Prospectus Rubric and Dissertation Prospectus Guide.
• Walden University. (n.d.-p). Welcome to the Center for Research Quality. Retrieved December 18, 2014, from http://academicguides.waldenu.edu/researchcenter

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