Hi, I am done with my essay, URGENT! SUBMISSION DATE S 18TH NOVEMBER 2016 AT 1800HRS, SINGAPORE. But I am in need of help to edit the essay. Which I not able to Need to rectify the feedback from the lecturers. Feedbacks from the lecturer. The draft appears to cover most aspects of the essay topic, so keep up the good work! However, there are quite some issues that you may wish to consider: – The essay is largely descriptive, without any criticisms, so you have not critically analyzed access, cost, and quality as you have stated in the first paragraph. – Access should be clearly defined and explained. – Cost seems to be about affordability, which is an aspect of access, although you have briefly mentioned common cost drivers such as more health services for the ageing population and expensive medical technology. – Quality should be defined. – The flow of the essay is difficult to follow, perhaps the points in each paragraph seem to be disconnected with the ones before or after. Try to create a flow of ideas logically from one to another paragraph. – You need headings and subheadings to signpost your essay. – Overall, there is very little details, instead you have made mostly general and vague statements, e.g. ‘high-quality care’ etc. Several times you have made sweeping statements.
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